Swahili is a most adaptable language, originating in Zanzibar and along the Indian Ocean coast from a blend of Arabic and the many Bantu languages of Tanzania. Over the past hundred years (and especially since WWII) Swahili has adopted many words from English.
As a teacher of English as a foreign language, I have total empathy for those trying to learn the rules of English, which are as nonsensical as the rantings of the Mad Hatter. As if our grammar rules weren’t confusing enough, our pronunciation and non-phonetic spelling are simply diabolical. For example, why are rough and through pronounced differently? And what about the obsolete silent “K” at the beginning of so many words, like knock, know, knee, etc? I could go on, but you can find further examples in many different books and websites.
Tanzanians have modified many English words for the Bantu tongue by spelling them phonetically. For many words, they have changed the final “er” or “or” to an “a.” Therefore, I am Mwalimu Alexanda and my father would be Christopha. So, can you guess what a meneja is? A manager. How about a dereva? Driver. We also have kompyuta, opereta, kondakta, vocha, trekta, pancha, mota, and bia for computer, operator, conductor, voucher, tractor, puncture, motor, and beer.
Anette and I have a good laugh each time we encounter a new word and scratch our heads for several minutes trying to figure out what it means, until it dawns on us that it’s just phonetic Tanzanian English masquerading as Swahili. One we couldn’t figure out by ourselves was “Kariakoo,” Dar es Salaam’s central market, named after the WWII-era British Carrier Corps station. Carrier Corps = Kariakoo.
However, the most comical feature of Tanzanian English must be its use in business brochures, which attempt to advertise the quality of a certain product or service. As an ESL teacher, I always scan such brochures for ESLisms such as “Chicken in sweat and sour sauce,” that we were once served in a Dar hotel.
This morning I found two brochures lying around the house and I burst into laughter upon reading them, so I thought I’d share them with you. Anette thought it would be insensitive of me to publicize these mistakes, but my colleague from New Zealand asked her, “Well, what do you all do for a good laugh, then?” For Norwegians, I submit that it is watching foreigners (like me) flailing about in skis for the first time. For us native English speakers, as we are in the unique position of watching every other culture in the world try to learn our language, pardon us for our mirth.
Example #1: A brochure for a game park on the coast. It reads, “Imagine a confusion of nature of such intensity that crocodiles vie with coral reefs and lions roar at lionfish.” And later, “visitors can explore a surprising confusion of ecosystems.” The confusion is obviously that the author meant to use “profusion,” but must have been scared by the lionfish.
Example #2: A new guesthouse has just been built across the street from our compound. It is immaculate from the outside, and the rooms are exquisitely clean and tastefully decorated. Anette and I realized that we’ve been here a long time when we planned a trip just to see the new rooms, and then talked excitedly for an hour afterwards about how clean they were.
Unfortunately, the English on the brochure for the guesthouse doesn’t quite match the physical standards of the building:
“Our guestrooms feature comforting appointments such as color TV with many channels to choose.”
“Our toilets are well cleaned. This shows how we do care for your health.”
“No water shortage. We have big water tanks to make sure no water problems.”
OK, no big mistakes here, just endearing syntax. But here is the piece de resistance:
“Cloth washing machine is here to make sure your clothes, bedshits and blankets are clean all the time.” Bedshits?!! Well, at least they’re trying to keep them clean!
